Hardest of Decisions

And so it's over. 23 weeks of training has come to and end, and my goal will not be achieved. At least not this year. This past weekend I made the hardest of decisions.

As many of you know I've spent the past spring and summer training for what was to be one of my greatest accomplishments - a half ironman triathlon. This was of course after I got hit by a car last August and that tri season was cut short by the wrist surgery I had to undergo (screw in the scaphoid bone - congratulations I am now .00001% titanium). So this year, screw international distance tris, I wanted to go bigger and better. I wanted to do the half iron.

So I started training like I have never trained before. Swim, bike, run. Swim, bike, run. And I loved it.

Sadly, my body didn't. Tendinitis in my elbow was first (too much rock climbing and swimming). ITBS (iliotibial band syndrome) was next, brought on by a bad pair of shoes. Many doctors and physical therapy appointments later, the knee is not imporoving. It feels like somebody is taking a knife and driving it into the side of my knee. Some days it only hurts when I try to run. Some days I can't even sit at my desk without being unbelievable amounts of pain.

So this weekend I gave it one last try. I went for a 30 mile ride hoping that, against all odds, this race might still be possible. Every time I tried to speed it up, the knee flared. So it was at this point I knew it was over. I just simply can't do this now. Before just the run bothered me. Then it was the run and the swim (kicking sometimes causes it to hurt). Now it is all three.

So no more race. No more half ironman. At least not in 2008.

I'm devastated. There was a lot riding on this race. Personally of course, as I never could have actually won it or achieved anything other than finishing it. This was just to be something that I never could have dreamed I could do. A friend from high school recently remarked how amazing it was that I could run 5 miles at a time, let alone find it feasible to do tris - she remembers my battle with asthma throughout my teens. A mile or two was hard enough back then -- 10-20 min of running straight. Now I was trying to do a race that would last 6-7 HOURS. To say the very least, I was never really considered or taken seriously as an athlete. Asthma, bad ankles, bad knees, bad lower back, arthritis in my toe and blah blah blah. My body wasn't made for sports. Now I find out I have rotational scoliosis which could probably be the underlying cause for all the problems. Go figure. Regardless. All I ever wanted was to be taken seriously as an athlete. No Olympic dreams here. No Micheal Phelp's like accomplishments. Hell I just wanted to cross the finish line of a race that maybe 5% of the population ever even try. I was going to be proving to myself, along with all of the doubting coaches and teammates from years past, that I am an athlete. Growing up, I used to laugh and say, "I am woman, hear me ROAR!" Replace "woman" with "athlete" and I guess that has turned into a new battle cry.

But like I said. It ain't happening this year. There will be no half iron finish line in my near future and before long, I will have de-trained so much that a 400 meter swim, 4 mile run and a 25 mile bike will be challenging enough. And that, my friends, is frustrating and internally devastating.

And please - I ask and beg of you - if anybody tells me one more time that it is "just a race", I might blow a gasket. Not the best idea.

So - looking at the upside - now I have 386 days to train for next year's race. Anybody want to train with me?!?!? :)